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| The Dowager Countess |
We recently subscribed to cable after a 3-year hiatus. My husband is a football fan and his team has been doing really well. We could have canceled it after the season was over, but I became addicted to Downton Abbey. I want to be the Dowager Countess when I grow up.
Now that Downton Abbey has aired it's season finale, I feel abandoned. I get all excited on Saturday because... And then I remember. Downton Abbey will not be on tomorrow.
So, I've been watching award shows, instead.
In doing so, I've realized that, among other disturbing obsessions and habits (twerking??), our society is obsessed with youth. We cling to it with white knuckled, arthritic abandon. With bovine injected faces that can't emote, we hide our crow's feet behind oversized glasses as we browse the overcrowded shelves of the "beauty" section looking for the best creams to return us to our glory days. Not just women... Men, too.
We are so plagued with this obsession that images of people with tightened faces, pulled back into perpetual, surprised-looking smiles with oddly plump lips, look normal to us. That we believe the only way we can be beautiful is to look like we did when we were just stumbling into the world of adulthood.
I say screw that! I've earned these silver hairs. I've earned these fine lines. My body may not look like it did when I was in my 20's, but I have grown little PEOPLE inside of it. I'm a goddam goddess.
I am utterly disturbed by this obsession with youth. What is wrong with growing older? Why must we all look like we're 20 something? Was being 20 something all that great? I, personally, am thoroughly enjoying 30 something and I'm kind of looking forward to the street cred I'll have from a full head of gray. I'll take Meryl Streep over Miley Cyrus any day of the week. As the Dowager says, "Vulgarity is no substitute for wit."
When I was 20 something, I was worried about getting older. I was worried, more specifically, about LOOKING older. I was pretty... pretty shallow, that is, and not that smart. I didn't give myself a whole lot of credit - and because I placed so much emphasis on they way I LOOKED, and not as much emphasis on what I THOUGHT - other people did, too. How can you see past a pretty face when that is all someone values in herself?
I have a responsibility to my children. I will tell them they are beautiful. I will tell them that THEY, themselves, as a WHOLE being - their thoughts, their words, their feelings, who they are - is beautiful. I will teach them that I believe I am beautiful - without altering myself. With gray hair, and wrinkles. With loose skin around my middle where my babies grew. With freckles and other perfections. Yes, PERFECTIONS.
Because what makes me beautiful is not my face or my body. What makes me beautiful is ME. My kindness. My authenticity. What makes me youthful, is my laughter and my ability to smile through life's storms.
This is what I will teach my children. Because they, too, will grow old. And, when they do, I want them not to lament the loss of their youth, but to celebrate their present. To see the beauty in all things, and to know that happiness doesn't come from a bottle that you can buy on the shelf at Sephora.
That true beauty comes, not from youth, but from a life well-lived and the ability to be happy with things exactly the way they are meant to be.
Now that Downton Abbey has aired it's season finale, I feel abandoned. I get all excited on Saturday because... And then I remember. Downton Abbey will not be on tomorrow.
So, I've been watching award shows, instead.
In doing so, I've realized that, among other disturbing obsessions and habits (twerking??), our society is obsessed with youth. We cling to it with white knuckled, arthritic abandon. With bovine injected faces that can't emote, we hide our crow's feet behind oversized glasses as we browse the overcrowded shelves of the "beauty" section looking for the best creams to return us to our glory days. Not just women... Men, too.
We are so plagued with this obsession that images of people with tightened faces, pulled back into perpetual, surprised-looking smiles with oddly plump lips, look normal to us. That we believe the only way we can be beautiful is to look like we did when we were just stumbling into the world of adulthood.
I say screw that! I've earned these silver hairs. I've earned these fine lines. My body may not look like it did when I was in my 20's, but I have grown little PEOPLE inside of it. I'm a goddam goddess.
I am utterly disturbed by this obsession with youth. What is wrong with growing older? Why must we all look like we're 20 something? Was being 20 something all that great? I, personally, am thoroughly enjoying 30 something and I'm kind of looking forward to the street cred I'll have from a full head of gray. I'll take Meryl Streep over Miley Cyrus any day of the week. As the Dowager says, "Vulgarity is no substitute for wit."
When I was 20 something, I was worried about getting older. I was worried, more specifically, about LOOKING older. I was pretty... pretty shallow, that is, and not that smart. I didn't give myself a whole lot of credit - and because I placed so much emphasis on they way I LOOKED, and not as much emphasis on what I THOUGHT - other people did, too. How can you see past a pretty face when that is all someone values in herself?
I have a responsibility to my children. I will tell them they are beautiful. I will tell them that THEY, themselves, as a WHOLE being - their thoughts, their words, their feelings, who they are - is beautiful. I will teach them that I believe I am beautiful - without altering myself. With gray hair, and wrinkles. With loose skin around my middle where my babies grew. With freckles and other perfections. Yes, PERFECTIONS.
Because what makes me beautiful is not my face or my body. What makes me beautiful is ME. My kindness. My authenticity. What makes me youthful, is my laughter and my ability to smile through life's storms.
This is what I will teach my children. Because they, too, will grow old. And, when they do, I want them not to lament the loss of their youth, but to celebrate their present. To see the beauty in all things, and to know that happiness doesn't come from a bottle that you can buy on the shelf at Sephora.
That true beauty comes, not from youth, but from a life well-lived and the ability to be happy with things exactly the way they are meant to be.
3 comments:
Well said! And you are beautiful AND awesome!
You do not need cable to watch downton abbey.it airs on pbs which is free-99
Thanks for the tip, Gill! Unfortunately, we live in a "gully" and haven't been able to get a signal with a regular antenna. If we want to watch regular programming on TV, we have to pony up for cable.
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