To Vax or Not to Vax: A Mother's Plea for Change

I am provax. 

For those unfamiliar with our story, my daughter was born with a congenital defect that caused her liver to be fully cirrhosed, in utero. Research suggests it was due to a virus I was exposed to while I was pregnant. 

She received a liver transplant at barely 4 months old and was never able to receive live or attenuated virus vaccinations, including MMR, among many others. She is immune suppressed to keep her from rejecting her transplanted liver. If she is exposed to measles, of which there are now over 100 cases across the U.S. and rising, she will require IV infusions of donated blood plasma (known as IVIg) from someone with measles antibodies through a PICC line, multiple times per week for several months. If the treatment doesn't work and she contracts measles, she has a 30% chance of mortality, to say nothing of complications and long term side effects. 

She is already disabled. What about the parents who are already in this boat, whose children are already disabled or injured or sick and rely on herd immunity because they don't have a choice? We are caught in the middle of this debate and we have no choice. Like everyone else out there, we are desperately trying to do what is best for our children.

Instead of arguing about it and giving the media something to sensationalize, why can't we put our mutual effort into lobbying for research by unbiased parties, safer vaccines or another alternative? Why does it have to be "us against them"? 

We've all "done our research" but have come to different conclusions. Instead of pointing fingers and calling names, if we are all trying to protect our children, why don't we work together to find a solution that protects them all? Not just yours. Not just mine. 

Are they not ALL worthy?

My daughter is 7 years old, now. She has two younger siblings. We are bound, by contract with the hospital, to care for her under certain conditions per the agreement for her to receive her transplant. Her siblings, as well as myself and my husband, all must receive vaccinations, on schedule, including live viruses and boosters. 

I have researched transmission via vaccine shedding at great length. See: "A Response to Address Vaccine Shedding". While there are some risks with some live vaccines, the risk of coming into contact with the wild, vs. attenuated viruses, are far greater for her. 

Her siblings are 5 and 2 years old, respectively, and we have never had an issue with viral shedding. She has, however, caught CMV (the parent virus of the chicken pox virus) from an unvaccinated child, which required 4 months in and out of the hospital, 2 PICC lines and 2 rounds of low-grade chemotherapy, a complication of pneumonia, a subsequent possibility of rejection, and a 1 in 3 risk of leukemia that we now get tested for, regularly, on top of her monthly lab tests and scans. 

I think we have all had, or know someone who has had, a great deal of difficulty and our share of tragic experiences, for different reasons. As much as I wish everyone would vaccinate, I realize that the risks are scary for parents who have experienced or witnessed them first hand. 

Please don't tell me to "do my research" or that I'm "brainwashed". I'm not. I had planned to be a "natural momma" and practice attachment parenting. Which I did, as much as I could, and still do.  I have been entrenched in educating myself on the subject of vaccines since before my daughter was born. I have a sick kid and that comes with certain knowledge and considerations I might not have had, otherwise. 

I truly feel that, if we focus our effort and attention away from battling one another and, instead, on finding a safer solution that lowers the risk for everyone, we could really make strides for true change. Maybe even save lives. 

As long as we persist in brow beating one another, though, it's not going to happen.

Please, please share. Whether you vaccinate or not. Please spread this idea, in the hopes it will take root and REAL change will happen. Let's find a better way, together.