What's the Big Deal, You Ask? (A Response to Janie Porter's "Dear breastfeeding moms, is it really that hard to cover up?")

Dear Janie,

I read your blog, titled, "Dear breastfeeding moms, is it really that hard to cover up?" At the risk of sending my wayward readers to your blog post, I have included the link so they can personally read it.

Wow. You really opened a can of worms with that one, didn't you? I bet you're receiving all kinds of responses and being featured on all kinds of popular websites. Bravo.

You know what this post does? It makes mothers who are uncomfortable breastfeeding feel even MORE uncomfortable - with or without a cover. It makes them feel ASHAMED if they are struggling with covering while they nurse, because it doesn't come easily to everyone. Which just contributes to all the other pressures of trying to breastfeed and undermines the successful breastfeeding relationship. Not everyone is like you and in your situation. Mothers should all do what they feel is best for them and their own family. Whether that is breastfeeding (with or without a cover) or formula feeding, or pumping and giving it to the baby in a bottle, or tube feeding, or spoon feeding... And they should be able to do it without the fear of being judged and scrutinized.

Even more interesting, on your "About You" page, Janie, you've written, "You are worth investing in. You are worth believing in. You are worth being loved. You are valuable. It’s not about being perfect. It’s about being confident. And doing the best we can with what we have today. It’s my goal to inspire, encourage and empower you to be the best version of yourself, whether that means getting in shape, learning to eat better, extending more grace to others, increasing your confidence… anything that betters your life and makes you glow!" Wouldn't you say your post is just a tad contradictory to this?

Just a thought, but you may want to add, "Unless you breastfeed without a cover - for any reason. This doesn't apply to you." Because shaming women and fueling mommy wars is not really in​ the spirit of building their confidence.

You want to know what the big deal is?

My first child was terminally ill and received a liver-transplant at 4 months old. She had all kinds of tubes and wires coming out of her until she was 6 months old. YOU try feeding a wiggly, crying baby with all kinds of equipment while worrying about covering up!

My second child had severe colic - we're talking screaming for 6+ hours a day... and he hated being covered. REFUSED to nurse with a cover on. He would rip it off repeatedly and scream, thus exposing even more of my breast AND drawing attention to it.

For both children, it was much less of a spectacle NOT to cover than it was when I tried to cover. Should I have just stayed at home? Because I struggled to nurse my children with a cover - legitimately struggled - should I have been denied the RIGTH to go out in public? Or gone to the bathroom and sat on a toilet (without a lid, as is the case in most public restrooms) because juggling a baby and a diaper bag and a purse and a stroller and, in my first-born's case, a backpack with special formula to help her absorb my milk and an IV bag, WHILE nursing is - well, let's face it - impossible?

By the time my third baby came along, I just did what came naturally.

Janie, I'm sorry if your husband is looking at my "naked" breast while I feed my child. (He DOES have the choice not to look, you know! I have not used my supernatural powers to FORCE him to look at my breast while I feed my child.) I'm sorry that you don't feel comfortable showing your children that the human body is natural, and that nursing a baby is normal, and that YOU insist on sexualizing the female body by making something as natural as the act of nursing a shameful spectacle. I'm sorry that YOU seem to have such an odd fascination with breasts that it makes you uncomfortable when you see someone's nipple! You can't even type the word "nipple" in your post! You just say "naked", in parenthesis! But, you know what? I'm NOT sorry for not covering up.

Share this blog and let me know your thoughts in the comments, below.

Also, I would like to do a follow-up post titled, "This is a normal way to feed a baby". If you have photos of yourself feeding your babies - breastfeeding (covered or uncovered), with a bottle, with a spoon, with a feeding tube, or otherwise - and you are comfortable having them posted on my blog, please send them to me via the link, "Email Jasmine" on the right-hand side of the page.